When someone is angry, communication is difficult or impossible. You first need to neutralize the anger. Virginia Satir, Suzette Haden Elgin, and Terry Dobson provide us with tools.
- Center yourself
- Use Satir computing mode
- Say something that is courteous, appropriate, and that both people can agree with
- Match sensory language or avoid using any sensory language
Here’s an example from Elgin’s blog
A distraught family member (FM) is dealing with a hospital staff person (HS) in the financial “exit” process.
FM: “How can you POSSibly stand there HASSLING me at a TIME like THIS??”
HS: “People have a hard time thinking about money when someone they love is in pain.”
If you have a situation to share, you are invited to reply to this post.